Life has felt like a bit of a battle these last few months. Baby arrived back on August the 17th, and since then my days have been filled with the never-ending duties of putting back together what seems to fall apart overnight. You know what I mean. It's a rinse-repeat of feeding, cleaning, tidying, comforting, occupying, interacting, soothing, settling and collapsing. It all needs doing today, and then it needs doing tomorrow too. And the day after. And all the days after that for what seems like an eternity.
I know I'm in the trenches right now, doing the hard stuff that is going to lead to the peace when this phase is over. But man. It's hard. And I'm tired. And the worst part is that so often I feel like I'm not doing anything particularly valuable or meaningful.
Like today. Do you know what I've done today? I've gone to the shops and picked up some groceries and a parcel from the post office. I've unpacked the dishwasher (this really feels like an acheivement in my life right now). I brought some clothes in off the line. I made breakfast and lunch and cleaned up their respective messes. And I've ironed 3 shirts.
That's it.
Except, it's not really it. Because I also looked after a baby and a toddler. This morning, my baby grizzled and cried if I did anything but hold her. So I held her. My toddler had three accidents when she didn't get to the potty on time. I soothed and reassured her and cleaned up the mess. I also set up some activities outside for her and supervised while she did them. And I guess the biggest thing is, I was there for her.
I'm there for both of them.
I'm THERE for both of them.
I guess the fact of the matter is, these tiny humans that I love so much are completely dependent. SOMEBODY has to be there for them, to take care of them. If they weren't, well then, I suppose that they would both die.
Isn't that crazy then? That I feel like I'm doing nothing? What's with that?
Oh God help me. That's all that I can pray right now. Help me get through to a time when life feels like more than rinse-repeat. Help me not to underestimate the value of being at home with my kids. And help me to glorify you while I'm doing it.
Our society seems to have lost the ability to truly value what mothers do. When you think about it, the MOST important job in the world is making sure that the little humans we create are nurtured into reflections of who God sees them to be. It's not hard to feed and maintain their basic needs, but it is hard to sacrifice our own "selves" as we invest into the lives of children when they need us most.
ReplyDeleteGod willing, we have 80+ years of life - I think giving up a few of them can bring us great joy when we see the end results further down the line. The trenches were where the hardest, grittiest part of the war was fought - and it's the same with those early parenting years - really tough but SO valuable! Hang in there and look at the beautiful girls they're becoming - all that hard work, boredom, repetition, and moments of joy will be worth every second - you have a vital job to do and the fact that you're choosing to do it instead of going AWOL is something you should be really proud of (I'm certainly extremely grateful that you're THERE for those babies!!) xxx
Thanks for the encouragement favourite MIL and sorry it has taken me so long to reply! :-)
DeleteI fully agree with Leanne's comment above. The role of the mother is so invaluable; but not everyone understands that.
ReplyDeleteWhat I value most is the unique emotional bonding a mother brings to the family. No one else can provide that.
Wish you and everyone near and dear to you a Merry Christmas! :-)
-- bpradeepnair.blogspot.com
Hi Pradeep, apologies for my long delay in replying. Thank you for your encouraging comment, it is true that no one can replace what a mother brings to the family. I have to tell myself that on the days when its toughest!
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