My daughter,
Sophia, just turned 2 and for the last few months her vocabulary has been
increasing exponentially. From the time she wakes up in the morning, to when
she goes to bed at night, she basically talks non-stop (excluding her afternoon
nap thankfully). It is really wonderful seeing the way she is learning and
developing, but communication definitely isn’t without its challenges (both for
her and me)!
EVERYTHING IS “WA-WASS”
Although
her vocabulary has increased so much lately, there are still many words Sophia doesn’t
know or can’t remember. So she’s made up this word, “wa-wass”, which she uses
whenever she’s not sure of the right word to say (this happens a lot)! It
drives me a bit crazy because EVERYTHING is wa-wass but somehow I am meant to
figure out what she wants! She gets frustrated that she can’t make me
understand, I get frustrated because she just keeps repeating this word over
and OVER … you get the picture.
HOW MUCH DOES SHE UNDERSTAND?
Sophia’s
limited vocabulary also makes it hard to know exactly how much she understands.
Does she hear the equivalent of “wa-wass” when I’m telling her something? She isn’t
able to repeat back instructions to me, so it’s hard to know for absolute sure.
However, I suspect that she understands almost everything when I take the time
to explain it to her. If I ask her to put something in the bin, get her shoes,
put her plate on the bench or anything like that, she will do it without
hesitation (for the most part!). Then there’s the guilty look she gives me when
I catch her doing something I’ve told her not to. But the thing that speaks to
me the most is the difference it makes to her behaviour when I talk to
her about what is about to happen and what my expectations are of her before
doing it.
MY EXPERIMENT
For example, I was having trouble with Sophia misbehaving
while doing the grocery shopping. Being a toddler, she wants to touch and hold
EVERY SINGLE ITEM I put into our trolley. However, many items are not suitable
for a toddler to hold because of the very real risk of her dropping, breaking,
spilling or otherwise damaging them! She was having trouble accepting this when
I would tell her she couldn’t hold something and would continue to ask;
whinging, whining and even crying when I stood my ground. We had a very tiring
and exasperating few shops before I decided this needed addressing. The next
time, when we got to the shops and I put her in the trolley, I looked into her
face and said something like this:
“Sophia, Mummy needs
to do the grocery shopping now. I want you to help me by not asking to hold the
things I am putting into the trolley. If you REALLY want to hold something and
you ask Mummy, I want you to listen to the answer I give you – if I say no, you
must STOP asking, say “ok Mum” and not whinge or cry about it. If there is
something I think you can safely hold, I PROMISE I will give it to you without you asking me. If you
can do this, it will really help me and I will be very pleased.”
It was an experiment really – I didn’t know if it would make
a difference – it was a fairly long speech to give a toddler and I wasn’t too
sure if she’d understand every word! But I’m fairly confident now that she at
least got the gist of it, because her behaviour during that grocery shop was
much better. The few times she did start to whine, I only had to remind her of
our talk at the beginning and she stopped. The message had finally gotten
through!
AN EXERCISE IN PATIENCE
Watching my
daughter learn the art of communication has really been fascinating for me. It
has also highlighted how important good communication is – it is just so frustrating
for everyone involved when one person is saying “wa-wass” (literally or
metaphorically) and the other doesn’t know what that means. It has been an
exercise in patience for me to 1) take the time to try to work out what Sophia
is telling me and help her with the right words and 2) take the time to clearly
communicate with her my expectations of her behaviour until I am confident the message has been
received. And it’s the amount of repetition required that REALLY tests the
patience!
GOD’S PATIENCE WITH ME - AN INSPIRATION
Thankfully,
I know God doesn’t ever hear “wa-wass” when I talk to him – he knows exactly
what I mean, probably better than I do. But I think I often hear a metaphorical
“wa-wass” from him – I read his Word, but I don’t really understand it. He is
just so patient though – he continues to bring ways and means along to help me
get it – books, conversations, life metaphors, moments of epiphany where his
Spirit reveals the truth. I could give examples but that is not the purpose of
this post. Suffice it to say, recognising God’s patience with me is a big help when I need to be
patient with Sophia in communication. I think Matthew 10:8 probably applies
here: “Freely you have received, freely give.” May God help me to do it better.
Beautiful! I smiled the whole way through!! One of my boys had a made-up word too for when he didn't know what to say - it went something like "pah-di-oh-di-oo-di-oh" - we got a lot of giggles out of that one, it was such a lovely "roll off the tongue" but totally meaningless word. I think I sometimes give God a metaphorical "pah-di-oh-di-oo-di-oh" when I don't know what or how to pray, but thankfully he speaks my language!! :)
ReplyDeleteHaha, that is super cute. Yeah you're probably right, I think although God always knows what we mean, our prayers can certainly come out about as non sensical as "wa-wass" or "pah-di-oh-di-oo-di-oh" at times! 😂
DeleteLovely post and I am constantly surprised by how God can use things in our life to reveal more of himself to us. I think sometimes we do the same "naughty" things over and over (with a guilty look) and it takes a clear and definite word from him to change our ways. Parenthood definitely opens our eyes to God as our father and how patient he is with us. x
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. Thanks for your comment ☺️
DeleteAww it can be so frustrating for both us as parents and them as children when they can't communicate effectively. Soon enough though she'll be chattering away :)
ReplyDeleteI know this in theory, although it's hard to imagine at this point! Just like it was hard to imagine a year ago her talking as much as she is now! Thanks for your comment 🙂
DeleteIt's such a tricky stage when they're trying to communicate with you and you don't know what they need or want. She'll be chatting away properly before you know it. They definitely do understand what you say though so she probably did get the gist of what you said in the supermarket.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting the way their comprehension is so far in advance of what they can actually say isn't it. Thanks for your comment 🙂
DeleteSuch a tricky stage indeed. But not long to go until they are constantly chatting x
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to believe another stage will come until suddenly, you're through it!
DeleteWe found that stage with our son tricky as well. But like you, we found that if we talked to him and told him what was going to happen or what we needed him to do, his behaviour was vastly better and we could all get on with the job in hand. I think sometimes we tend to forget that toddlers are human beings too and need instructions in order to process certain things or to understand why we are saying no.
ReplyDeleteYes it does make sense when you think about it. Glad to hear someone else has had a similar success! :-)
DeleteWell done on figuring out a way to deal with the grocery shopping, it can be very hard when they want to do everything so badly but can't for one reason.
ReplyDeleteIt was a break through that's for sure! Thanks for your comment :-)
DeleteI LOVE the wa-wass stage! It's so frustrating but also such an amazing time. I'm so impressed by your supermarket experiment. If you ever learn the secret of getting your little one not to make a beeline for the breakables in a shop... please tell me! xx
ReplyDeleteAwww bless her with 'wa-wass' (what's that?). It's a pretty frustrating stage (hello meltdowns!), but isn't it amazing she can now initiate a conversation and ask you what things are :) It's also brilliant that you experimented and got confirmation she could understand more than was apparent.
ReplyDelete